Strength and Magic
by LadyFromPoland
Summary: It's Merlin/Gwaine slash with hint of Merlin/Arthur . It's more serious than I intended it to be. Merlin is fed up with Arthur so he decides to leave Camelot for a few days and find Gwaine. Alcohol and sadness aren't a good mix. Set between 3x08 and 3x12


Sorry guys! I had to censure this story because I don't want to lose my account. But don't be afraid. I just made an account on adultfanfiction and I will soon update all my adult stories there. The nickname is the same.

**The uncensured version of this story is already available on my lj account. The nickname is: ladyfrompoland**

More details on my profile soon!

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**Author: LadyFromPoland**

**Disclaimer: I don't own "Merlin". It is a TV show which belongs to BBC.**

**Warning: SLASH**

**English is not my mother language.**

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**This is my promised fic about Merlin and Gwaine (with some Merlin/Arthur). I hope you will enjoy! I wanted it to be just slashy and funny but it turned unexpectedly into something different.**

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_**Strength and Magic**_

They were supposed to be Courage, Strength and Magic. Moreover, it had been said that Merlin and Arthur were two sides of the same coin. The warlock believed that it was true. However it didn't change the fact that the prince drove him crazy more and more often. They were friends and the boy respected the future king. He liked him; or even it was something more than liking. Merlin wasn't sure and really didn't want to find out. The truth could be too painful to bear it.

The warlock was always a patient servant and friend but there were such days that he just couldn't stand Arthur. There were rare moments when he wanted to leave Camelot. No, not forever. The boy just wanted a few days off, without destiny and troubles that it brought to him. He wanted to breathe and feel like a normal young man.

That was one of these days. Merlin didn't even ask Arthur for a short holidays. He only wrote a note which said: _"I'll be back in a few days. Don't worry, I asked Tom to be your servant for that time. Maybe for a while you'll have a competent servant as you always wished to have. Merlin."_

Gaius thought that it wasn't a good idea, that Merlin shouldn't have been leaving Arthur without magic protection. However he couldn't stop his ward. The old mas saw very well that the boy needed free time. Merlin deserved it more than anybody in the whole kingdom. The physician could only pray for a few days without troubles that only Merlin could solve.

The boy left Camelot at dawn. He didn't remember when he had been last time so excited. He knew what he exactly was going to do. Merlin was going to walk ahead and try to find Gwaine. The older man shouldn't have been too far away from Camelot. Besides everybody who spent five minutes with Gwaine knew that the man loved taverns and adventures. Even if that knowledge wasn't enough, Merlin still had his magic, which could help him. It told the warlock that his friend was somewhere in the South. So he walked...

oOoOo

Merlin had been in three taverns but he didn't find any sign of his friend. His patience started to melt slowly but he wasn't going to give up. He wanted to spend some time with a friend who actually treated him as a friend too. It was worth searching.

In the forth tavern the boy didn't see Gwaine as well. However he felt a bit tired and decided to take a seat and drink a cup of mead. He wasn't going to spend in that place too much time. That place didn't seem friendly.

When Merlin stood up and was about to go outside, he heard familiar laughter. He looked up and couldn't believe who he was seeing. Gwaine just went into the tavern and stopped in front of him.

"Merlin!" he greeted his friend. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going outside," the boy admitted.

Gwaine smiled charmingly. "Why? The party is about to begin!"

The boy smiled back at him. He couldn't believe that the man in front of him could be so cheerful and light-hearted and seemed to be fond of him too.

Then Merlin noticed some woman. It was obvious that she had come to the tavern with Gwaine. The woman cleared her throat to bring Gwaine's attention back.

"Oh..." the man looked at her. "The girl with such a beautiful name that my sinful tongue won't spell to not offend it," he started charmingly. "You're like a flower that cannot be picked. Not toni... today." Gwaine caressed her pink cheek. "I'm sorry but my old friend needs my help. I owe him my life so you see... I have no choice."

The girl's blush deeper. "Of course. Another time..." Then she gazed around and decided to get out of that place. She shouldn't have been coming there in the first place but Gwaine, that handsome man as she called him inwardly, was so charming and she just couldn't say no.

When the door was closed behind her back, Merlin couldn't help rolling his eyes. "You didn't remember her name, did you?" he asked.

"Of course not," Gwaine said honestly.

"But you didn't need to tell her to go if you didn't want to. Not because of me." Now Merlin felt a bit guilty.

"No... if I didn't want to... But she's just a random girl! I would always chose my old friend over some silly girl." Gwaine patted Merlin on his back. "I'll have much more fan with you."

"You think that I'm sillier than her?" The boy joked.

"I didn't mean that." The man grinned. "Anyway... what are you really doing here?"

"I've been looking for you," Merlin muttered.

"You didn't want to just see me, did you?" Gwaine asked.

"I really wanted to!" The sorcerer protested. "I wouldn't have come here if I hadn't," he assured his friend. "But..."

"There's always some _but_." The man sighed. "Let me guess... Arthur has troubles and, once again, he needs our help."

Merlin shook his head. "No, Arthur's fine. I mean... he has no major troubles."

Gwaine looked carefully at his friend. "Let's sit there," he said quietly and they both took the seats in the corner. "You seem to be sad," the stronger man spoke up. "What happened?"

"And what do you think would happen?" the boy mumbled. "Arthur irritates me, annoys me... he just... he pisses me off!" Merlin let go of his frustration and suddenly he felt better. The boy knew that it was thanks to Gwaine's presence. He had really missed him and their odd friendship. "I didn't even ask him for a few days off. I just... went away."

Gwaine grinned. "Very well! I'm sure he deserved that. Maybe next time the great prince will appreciate everything what you do for him."

"I really doubt it." Merlin tried to hide his sorrow but it didn't work. "Arthur is a dollophead and nothing is gong to change that."

"If we can't change him then... maybe we'll try to forget about him for a while," the man suggested. "And I know how."

The warlock couldn't help laughing. He really liked that man's companionship. Gwaine was a funny and carefree man who would still risk his life for a friend. He probably loved alcohol too much what brought him some troubles but Merlin didn't care. He couldn't. The boy wanted to get drunk that day too. He was going to be as drunk as he had never been.

"Two meads!" Abruptly Merlin heard his friend's voice. It was going to be unforgotten evening.

oOoOo

Merlin and Gwaine were staggering upstairs. The second of them had a small room above the tavern where he had been sleeping for a few days. Merlin was glad that they didn't have to go far. The rests of his common sense told him that they wouldn't have come to the other place. At least not without any damages.

"Here we are," Gwaine murmured into boy's ear what made him shiver.

The warlock went inside and leant on the wall. When his friend were locking the door, he gazed around and despite the darkness, he saw that there was only one bed. Gwaine noticed where Merlin was looking.

"Do you care?" he asked, standing in front of the boy.

"Not at all," Merlin said candidly. He was himself surprised by the longing tone of his voice.

"Good," Gwaine mumbled and moved closer to the other man.

**CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE CENSURE **

oOoOo

They lay side by side, pretending that they were sleeping.

Merlin was lost in his own thoughts. He didn't regret the things that they had done. What was done, was done. However he knew that now he should have moved on. He couldn't stay with Gwaine. The other man was not his destiny. Besides the warlock didn't even want to. He liked Gwaine very much but it was not _that_ thing.

The one night wasn't supposed to change everything and Merlin hoped that it didn't ruin the friendship that they shared. If the sorcerer had known Gwaine a bit, he knew that the other man wouldn't have minded so much. Although if one night had turned into many nights, then it would have been risky. That's why Merlin made a decision of leaving without saying goodbye.

The boy slid off the bed slowly. It was almost a dusk so he knew that he should hurry up.

Finding the clothes in the darkness was easier than he had supposed. When Merlin put them on, he glanced at Gwaine. The other man was looking up at the ceiling, remaining silent. They both knew that it was better that way.

oOoOo

Merlin came into Arthur's chamber in the afternoon. He was tired after staying up through the the night and after his journey.

"So you decided to appear at work eventually." He heard Arthur's voice.

The boy only nodded slowly. He felt guilty. He had never felt so guilty in his entire life. Not even after setting the Dragon free. Merlin was aware that he had betrayed that man in front of him, even though it sounded ridiculous. They didn't have a romantic relationship. They never had and never would. However it felt just like this. The warlock betrayed his own feelings. He couldn't change the way he felt for the prince and yet he had spent the previous night with other man.

"Are you going to say something or have you just come here to irritate me?" Arthur mumbled as if he didn't care. But he did very deeply.

"I'm sorry, Sire," Merlin muttered.

"For what? For skipping your job or for avoiding the answer?" the prince asked.

"For something else," the warlock whispered but Arthur heard him very well.

"What did you do?" The blonde looked oddly at his servant.

Merlin never answered that question. Never.

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**And? What do you think?**

**By the way... Merry Chtristamas everyone!**


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